Players: Angel, Gregor, Smoochy
• Props: Really terrible costume for Gregor:
……………………………………………………………………………………………
Angel: Good afternoon children. I’m very excited about this Advent workshop. Are there any cats here? No. Where are the cats? Who are they? What year is it? Oh dear. Gregor. He’s always here. Where is he?
Gregor: OK everybody; Get your hoops a twirling and your shoes a bouncing and your somethings something else. Give it up for… GREGOR… Yaaaaay. Appears wearing a very sad copy of Starry’s costume
Angel: Oh dear.
Gregor: Yes. It is Gregor… brightest star in the cupboard. BANG!.
Angel: Gregor….. what are you wearing?
Gregor: Hello Daddio. Or Mummio. Sistero? I forget. Anyway, it is I. Gregor the star. No. Not Gregor. I am Gregor-y the best starry star star. Kaboom!
Angel: Gregor, stop it. What are you doing? Why are you pretending to be a star?
Gregor: Well it’s very difficult. Gregor is good looking, and popular, and everybody wishes they were like him.
Angel: Ummm. Ok…
Gregor: But Gregor is lonely. So I set up Gregor Idol. A competition for people who want to be Gregor’s best friend.. There was a prize and everything. You got to be Gregor’s best friend.
Angel: I don’t think friendship is about competition Gregor. You just… make friends.
Gregor: That is easy for you to say. You are connected to this exciting story. God chose you to go and tell Mary and Joseph about God’s baby. You got to go with exciting news, and so everybody likes you. And that star we met last week… Starry. He is connected to this story. He gets to shine brightly in the sky every night, to show the wise men where this baby is. And so, even though he is interested only in himself, and has not even the people skills of Gregor, he is connected. Everybody loves Starry. Everybody has pictures of Starry on their walls.
But Gregor? Only Gregor has pictures of Gregor.
Angel: But you are connected to this story Gregor… you just have to wait and see how.
Gregor: I cannot wait. I am sad and lonely, and a little bit hungry. I want to guide someone here. I will be the star today. Let me guide somebody here.
Angel: I’m not sure if that’s a good idea Gregor. And nearly everyone is here already.
Gregor: I want to guide somebody here. I made this costume and everything.
Angel: Well… I suppose there’s the shepherds. They’re on their way now.
Gregor: Shepherds. Yes. I will guide them here. Begins to dance and sing
Heyyy Shepherds.
Follow the voice of Gregor the star.
Find me here Shepherds,
And bring me a mirror so I can look at me,
Gregor the star..
Smoochy: Cripes that’s an awful racket. Cut it out, will you?
Gregor: But I am Gregor the star… Oh. It is you. A dog.
Smoochy: Yeah. The toughest meanest sheepdog in the west.
Gregor: Hello tough mean sheepdog; what is your name?
Smoochy: Oh that doesn’t matter. How are you Gregor? And what kind of Galah have you come dressed as?
Gregor: I am a star, Dog. Hmmm… Dog. But that is not your name, is it?
Smoochy: You know I hate my name… Don’t make me angry. Grrrrrr.
Angel: Gregor, don’t tease Smooch… sorry. The dog.
Gregor: That is it. Smoochy Pootikins. Hello Smoochy Pootikins. Children, say hello to Smoochy Pootikins, the sheepdog.
Smoochy: Barks. I’ll get you Gregor… I’ll bark and bark until your ears fall off.
Angel: It won’t be worse than Gregor’s singing.
Smoochy: Too right. What was that all about?
Gregor: I was leading you here.
Smoochy: I know the way here. I could have done without the sound effects. What’s this I hear about you having a competition?
Gregor: Ah yes. Gregor Idol. I have laid out a series of challenges, and the person who completes them all, evading sudden death at every turn, wins the chance to be my best friend for a year.
Smoochy: Sounds like a bit of a dud to me, mate. Got many contestants?
Gregor: Nearly one. Is that why you have come? To enter Gregor Idol?
Smoochy: Nup. I’m here with the shepherds. Come to see the baby.
Angel: I told you Gregor. The shepherds want to see God’s baby too.
Smoochy: Yeah. We were out on the hillside the other night, lookin’ after the sheep. I was chasing away a dingo when all of a sudden, there they were.
Gregor: Who?
Smoochy: Angel here, and about two thousand of her closest mates. All up in the sky, singing a song about this baby that’s being born. Glory in the highest and all that. It was a pretty song, mate. Better than that rubbish you were singing a minute ago. It was pretty cool that God wanted us to see his baby. Being a sheepdog, you don’t think God worries about you much, but there it was. Angels, telling just us shepherds and sheepdog to go see God’s baby. Made us feel all connected.
Gregor: Ohhhhh.
Smoochy: It was such a pretty song that me and all the shepherds decided to wander along and have a look. Is the baby here yet?
Angel: Not yet, dog. Next week, I hope.
Smoochy: Goodo. I’ll tell the fellers. We’ll have a feed and put our feet up.
Gregor: And join my competition?
Smoochy: Gregor..
Gregor: Yes?
Smoochy: No offense mate, but if you put me on a leash, and threatened to give me to a family full of small kids with sticky fingers, who wanted to dress me up in their dollie’s clothes….
Gregor: Yes?
Smoochy: I still wouldn’t be joinin’ your competition.
Gregor: Oh.
Gregor Idol by Gareth Darlow is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.
